white... chocolate... covered... coffee... beans  *does a happy dance*

Wow, I can't believe how long its been since I've posted or lurked here on LJ. It's been since March pretty much.

I can't say that I'm overly surprised tho, what with my personal life never being boring or calm for more then a microsecond (is that even a word? :) Who cares, it feels appropriate). Which leads me to wonder, am i drawn to drama or is drama drawn to me? Some friends claim that it is I who am completely drawn to drama. *I* think its the other way around tho. I figure that it has something to do with my unusually high energy level and the energy that I throw out into the universe - karma can kiss my ass, it's not my friend, lol.

So whats the sitch? - you may ask. What has been going on in your life that has kept you so preoccupied for the last little while that you havent had time to lurk and/or post on LJ?

To sum it up easily - life.... or 'How I deal with my mother's *look at me!look at me!* complex. I love the woman very dearly but she drives me bat shit crazy sometimes. I won't go into details here, because it would take up oodles and oodles of space on peoples friends pages since I'm to lazy to do an LJ cut.

I will update some more with my summer and life adventures, but for now this is a start. A good start :).

The first kiss and that was it, I lost my mind. The way I felt, my body melt  was so sublime. I won't try to resist 'cause that would be a crime. I'm not really too shy to admit I want you all the time. I wanna love you all over. Not gonna stop until the morning comes. Gonna have you from head to toe, above and below and when we're done, I'm gonna love you all over.


 - Sometimes its amazing that a dance song has lyrics that make sense and apply to anything in my life. For once, they do :)

Omg, is there anyone out there who doesnt love sexual tension? I mean the kind that at the end of the day that just makes you want to scream and launch yourself at the object of the tension?

Welcome to my current situation at work. I swear to God, between watching her eat a chocolate eclair (that I bought for her ;P) and the comment she made as we were leaving work....... yeah...... hot. I'm pretty sure that I had either steam or smoke barrelling out of my ears! ( I could almost take up smoking for frells sake)

*GAH!!!!*

*pppppppppppssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttt (the sound of steam coming out of my ears)!!!!!!

OMG i had soooo much fun at the bar LOL. Danced with so many people (a few i didnt even know), and now.... well now I have this totally hot and gorgeous woman waiting for me in bed! lol, gotta go.    ;P

Omg  I hurt my knee really badly at work today. I hit it so hard on the frame of one of the cars, that I nearly vomited :(  I didnt tho. I managed to sit down on the floor and hold my knee and cry a little bit. Two of my co-workers were there when I did it and bothed winced.  One of them said to me ' That just made my testicles shrivel a bit'. I had to laugh at that thru my tears.

So I spent the remainder of the day doped up on ibuprofen, performing light duty tasks.

My knee hurts so much that I went to a co-workers house, and she rolled up a nice fatty for me. Now anybody that knows me knows that I RARELY ever do anything like this. They might not even believe that I went and got it. But guess what, I did and I'm going to get soooo fucking high later tonight. Hopefully it'll make my knee hurt a whole lot less. *crosses fingers*

As by special request, here are some queer friendly links for those curious about queer culture and comings and goings :)


http://www.planetout.com/

http://www.advocate.com/index.asp


just a few links. enjoy!

One other thing that has been taking up the majority of my time recently, is this FABULOUS online comic called - ' El Goonish Shive'
. The title doesnt make any sense, and its not supposed to either :)  'Shive' is the creator's last name.

Brief Description - A strange comic about a group of teenagers and the bizarre, often supernatural, situations that they face. Includes a continuing complex storyline with non-linear joke comics on the side. WARNING: Often ignores the laws of Physics.

http://www.elgoonishshive.com/newbie.html

This comic completely floors me. It started off kinda slow, and with a lot of head scratching on my behalf, and a little bit of 'WTF is going on here?!?!' . After awhile tho, I was hooked.

If you're looking for something to check out while on-line , I highly recommend this comic. Be sure to read the disclaimer tho. This comic is definetely  not for the under 13 crowd. It's quite comedic, but has adult (non pornographic) content and language.

I know there is no way I can properly describe this comic, so check it out and get hooked. :)

(Jess, I know this comic is going to hook you. Not enough to pull you away from 'Supernatural', but you'll enjoy it :) )

'Whew' *takes a deep breath and relaxes*

Considering how often I tell people that I do squat most of the time, this last little while has been pretty insane/busy! I guess that life tho, yeah?

I've been devoting a large part of my time to reading up on my Union ( CAW - Canadian Auto Workers). The 'Chair' for my factory is open, and I'm running for it. I realize I'm just begging for a headache by wanting this position. I fully realize that everytime someone has a complaint with management or a personal vendetta with some other union member they will be coming to me. That's fine, I'm actually looking forward to the responsibility ( I was called a masochist by one of the ladies at work - guilty! :) ). I want a challenge. I NEED a challenge.

I'm fairly sure that I'm going to lose out to the other guy thats running, just for the simple fact he's a mouth piece, and the majority of the guys think that that is an asset. I haven't quite figured that one out yet, but then again, I've always had a hard time figuring out the way guys think. So far the only thing I've agreed with most guys on, is that boobs are a good thing ;p.

Here's hopping that my hard work pays off tho and I get the job. We don't vote until the 15th of this month, so I'm starting to get a little bit antsy now. AAAAHHHH!!!

It's really ironic how much I DON'T post on my journal anymore, considering how much time I spend lurking on LJ :)

I think I may have become just a little too obsessed with reading fanfics from my Battlestar Galactica comms (mainly femmeslashy goodness :p -mmmm Kara and Laura) and reading posts on my new fav movie and LJ comm ' Imagine Me & You '. Great British romantic comedy, and if you haven't seen it yet, go check it out. Yes it has queer (lesbian - yummy) content but it's so damn cute and quirky that it needs to be seen by everyone.

On a real world note, I helped ( along with many other people) Chad and Cory move yesturday - and it just happened to be the coldest goddamned day of the year. Around minus 20 with the wind chill. Can I just say I DONT want to hear from my Cali friends how warm it was there on saturday?!? lol.

Not much else to post really. When I do have rants, by the time I get to a computer I've forgotten what has pissed me off so much earlier in the day to post about it.

Alive and well - even if it is FREEZING COLD here in Canada! :)

*blah, ick, irk, gah*

Omg, this is the worst cold I've had in about two years. I get the sniffles a lot, but I don't usually get the 'OHMYGODI'MGONNABARF!' and the 'OHMYGODI'MSOFREAKIN'DIZZYICANTSTAND!!!' *AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!*, very often. I have them this time tho.
I actually played it smart and didnt go into work today because I figured if any of my co-workers got this, they'd kick my lily-white ass :). Feeling much better tonight tho, after three days of complete bed rest - ewww I really want to wash my sheets. I hate 'sick person smell' on my sheets.

Happy Thanksgiving to my American LJ friends! :)

(We Canucks celebrated a while ago)

I'm finally starting to feel better. Its been about two weeks since my girlfriend broke up with me.

Sure I still really miss her, but I no longer feel that my world is going to end. I have the best friends in the world! :) They have been so damn supportive, and have listened to my whining and moaning and groaning with no complaints (to my face anyways :p). And they've offered the regular self-esteem boosting cliche's - which ironically do help a whole lot. Thanks guys. Love you!

I think the drugs are helping a bit too (anti - depressants rock!!!). It almost feels weird to be getting back to my old energy level. I'm getting excited about going back to the gym (can anybody say 'hello hot soft butch body?!?!) and getting up in the morning doesnt feel like such an effort or a dead end. I actually find the sunshine happy instead of harsh and invasive. I can smile now and mean it. I cleaned the fuck out of the townhouse the other day. I even got down on my hands and knees to wash floors. It FELT SO GOOD!! lol.

So now I'm getting ready to go over to Shoppers DrugMart to print off some pix from Joe's 40th b-day bash that I went to in Toronto this weekend. So much fun!

I'm so excited! Ember is coming back to the Toronto area on Novemeber 22. I'm there! Anybody else in the GTA going?

Yay! Found something to make me smile :)

What do you do when the person that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with thinks that maybe you'd be better as friends?

I spend a lot of my time just staring now. My eyes will find a neutral spot on my wall, one that doesnt have any reminder of us, and I'll stare. I don't realize that I'm crying until I've been doing it for ten minutes sometimes.

I'm not really quite sure what I'm thinking about or if I'm just letting myself feel the hurt. I think that I'm still surprised by the physical pain I feel. My head hurts so much. I'm pretty sure thats because I ruptured something from crying so hard Sunday night and all day Monday. Right now Tylenol is my friend.

My real friends are being so great to me right now. I could'nt ask for more supportive people in my life. Well, I could. It'd be just one person. The one that I usually turn to but can't right now.

I so badly want to pour my heart out to her, but I also want to give her her space. I know that this wasnt the easiest thing for her to do. I just really wished that there was a chance that we could be together again as 'Deirdre and Becky'. Now it won't be talking about a couple when our names are together. We'll just be friends. That kills me.

I just really want to curl up in a hole in the ground and have someone shovel dirt over me. I just feel so lost. I really dont want anyone else. I want my D. Plain and simple.

She told me Sunday night when she got here. After I'd spent the day with her mother ( I love her mother, she's one of the sweetest and interesting individuals I've ever met). Even knowing what I  know  now, I'd still go about my day the same  way that I did. I'll take those last few moments of complete happiness and love and hold them tightly for a long time.

"I think the best thing for us would be.....

found something that even tylenol three's dont help ease the pain of.

2am. less then four hours sleep in the last twenty-four. let's hope that the two sleeping pills that i took help. :(